Welcome back to our monthly series where we review books that offer the best advice for those new to the world of VC and startups! Our co-founder and managing partner, John Vrionis, is book-obsessed; if you visit our offices, you’ll find plenty of reading material to take home with you.

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We are a mission-driven team, and for plenty of us, this is our first foray into venture capital. We often look for advice from business experts, experienced founders, and startup operators to help us learn about building great companies. We’re eager to learn from the best and enthusiastic about passing on this knowledge to others!

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This month, we’re reviewing Give and Take by Adam Grant, first published in 2013.

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Last year, we reviewed Will Guidara’s Unreasonable Hospitality, and one central theme that stood out to us was the power of giving. For Guidara, hospitality isn’t just about offering good service — it’s about focusing on the needs of others and giving without expecting anything in return. In our review, we noted, “When you are intentionally hospitable and put all your effort into making your customers feel seen and taken care of, everything about your business improves.” In essence, when you give freely — whether through service, advice, or help — you are investing in your long-term success. 

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In the business world, being a giver is often viewed with skepticism. People tend to associate generosity with weakness or naivety, especially when the most visible success stories seem to come from those who are self-serving or opportunistic. However, in Give and Take, Adam Grant argues that givers — those who consistently prioritize others’ needs — are actually more successful in the long term than “takers” or “matchers.” While taking may yield quick returns, it doesn’t build the trust or meaningful relationships necessary for sustained success. Through a series of case studies, Grant builds compelling portraits of givers across a range of professional areas including sports, venture capital, tech, medicine, and politics. 

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But what makes givers so successful in the long run? And how can we all cultivate more of these giving traits? Below we break down 5 key attributes of givers that stood out to us in Grant’s book.

1. Givers want to see others succeed

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For givers, the joy is in the giving. Whether they are making an introduction, offering advice, or sharing knowledge, they don’t do it with the expectation of getting something in return. It’s about enabling others to succeed. Grant shares examples of successful venture capitalists and tech entrepreneurs who go out of their way to create environments where others can flourish, even if there’s no immediate gain for them.However, giving is not just about being selfless. Instead, givers need to balance their natural tendency to be generous with an ability to be assertive and read other people’s motives closely so they are not taken advantage of. Giving doesn’t mean that you need to always be on the losing end of a transaction. Successful givers can balance their own needs with those of others by investing in people they can influence to give freely as well. 

2. Givers champion and mentor others

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Creating an environment of success means investing in other people and teaching them how to be successful. Grant cites the example of CJ Skender, an accounting professor who has helped many of his students achieve their goals simply because he “starts by seeing everyone as talented and tries to bring out the best in them.” Skender sees potential in everyone and his belief that everyone can succeed creates the conditions for that success. Givers such as Skender set high expectations for their students, and work with them to help them do their best. This idea isn’t limited to education. When givers are in leadership positions, their optimism and dedication to nurturing others’ talents elevate the whole team. By empowering others to succeed, they create a ripple effect that benefits the entire organization. When a giver is a team leader or at the head of an organization, their innate optimism and ability to nurture other people’s talents creates an environment for both individual and collective success.

3. Givers build trust through vulnerability

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Projecting confidence is a key value in the world of business, but Grant turns this idea on its head by interrogating the value of “powerless communication” when it comes to building trust in our professional relationships. Takers tend to dominate the conversation by projecting dominance and authority. However, Grant argues that people who utilize “powerless communication” can connect with their audience through vulnerability and shared human experiences and tend to see greater success. This is also relevant in the case of people who are trying to “sell” a product or service. By actively listening to customers and learning from them, as opposed to aggressively pitching them something, givers build a trusting and more long-lasting customer base. In Grant’s view, projecting competence is important, but it’s equally crucial to communicate that competence in a way that invites collaboration and shared understanding. Vulnerability doesn’t diminish authority — it enhances it.

4. Givers seek out opportunities that allow them to flourish

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Grant acknowledges that givers are often viewed as doormats or pushovers, while takers are admired for their dominance and self-interest. He emphasizes when givers give too selflessly and overuse “powerless communication,” their focus on others can leave them vulnerable to burnout. Instead, the most successful givers are driven by a “hybrid engine” — a balance between helping others and pursuing their own ambitions or interests.Successful givers actively seek opportunities where they can be energized by giving, where they can see how giving is making a difference or having a concrete impact on others. When people don’t see results from giving, they burn out faster. This concept of “energized giving” allows givers to “build up reserves of happiness and meaning that takers and matchers are less able to access.” Giving doesn’t mean burning out; it means finding ways to sustain your own well-being and long-term success. 

5. Givers create communities of giving

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One way givers can protect themselves from exploitation is by fostering a culture of giving within their communities. When surrounded by a community where giving is the norm, people are more likely to contribute, reducing the risk of burnout. Building a shared identity around giving is essential, and this identity is reinforced through consistent acts of generosity. However, Grant stresses that this identity only takes hold when members also feel they’re receiving enough support to make their contributions feel worthwhile. Giving should never feel mandatory.

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Think about a community (personal or professional) where you freely exchange knowledge or services — what motivates you to give in this space? Is it because you identify as a giver or because you are influenced by other givers in this space? If you were forced to give, would you resent it? What motivates you to provide advice or knowledge in such spaces? And how do you protect yourself from takers? Grant’s book offers valuable insights on how to navigate these dynamics, ensuring that you can give freely and still flourish by fulfilling your own goals and ambitions.

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If you want to read Give and Take in full, we encourage you to do so! You can check out Adam Grant’s website to find out where the book is sold. And, make sure you’re subscribed to our newsletter to ensure you don’t miss next month’s book review and plenty of other content from our team.

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